Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
