and you said cock pushups were impossible
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
