Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
