i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
