Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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