You're so nebulous sometimes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
FUCK WHALES
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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