The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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