Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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