Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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