I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
