Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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