Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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