Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I deserve this hangover.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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