Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
