So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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