My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize