Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
