3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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