You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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