this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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