he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
