Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
