Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
