i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
