honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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