How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
