I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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