i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
