So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
