I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
