Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
