420 ftw
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
