I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
