Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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