Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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