Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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