I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
