No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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