Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
