apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
