Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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