U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
