So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
