When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
