I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
