Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
