The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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