I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
