Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
