So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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