I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
did you just send me my own nude
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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