Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
